People
are always asking me…well, they’re always asking me everything.
It’s
true.
Every
week, my mailbox spills over with letters from the fans of Philly Trees, messages from
old friends, invitations for speaking engagements, requests for magazine
articles, pre-approved applications for money laundering schemes and
correspondences from citybillies all over Turtle Island.
So,
on a particularly overcast and drizzly day, I spent the early evening sifting
through the mountain of mail, answering all the burning questions sent to me from
the small tribe of tree-hunters trying to make sense of this bountiful,
generous, cryptic mother we call Nature.
Here’s
a letter…from a Troy A. Hamilton of Marlton, New Jersey, just on the other side
of the Delaware River.
Judging
from the handwriting, Troy is a young buck of a student, probably one of the
many fearless, scrappy Jersey devils just trying to find his footing
in the humdrum rat-race of monotonous suburbia.
Troy,
I know how it feels.
I
just love receiving this kind of fan mail.
When
I was a kid, I was guilty, too, of writing letters to the celebrities that
really touched my spirit and fueled my inspirations, local heroes like Jim
Gardner and Charles Barkley and national icons like John Glenn and George
Lucas.
And
look at me now, on the other end of the fan mail cycle.
What’s
that quote from Charles Fort?
You measure a
circle beginning anywhere.
Looking
a little closer at the handwriting, little Troy seems to be struggling with the
subjects of English and Composition…but let’s see what urgent mystery young Troy
is asking old Jon Spruce to solve.
Hey, Jon Spruce,
my teacher made us read your blog for class.
It sucks! Who cares what a leaf
looks like. Not me. But I have to right a report for class about
a kind of tree. I dont care which one
you pick.
PS Nice hat
dork!
Let’s
pick another letter in this pile.
This
one is anonymous, that’s strange.
Dear Jon Spruce,
is this blog making you any money?
Real
funny, Dad.
Is
there a serious question here or what?
Okay,
here’s one...from a local Fishtown fan.
